<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d10956931\x26blogName\x3dThe+Four+Candles\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://cinzlife.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_GB\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://cinzlife.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d3338928301931560616', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Last Day
Saturday, April 30, 2005
After much negotiation with the parent of the tutee, today marks the official resignation of my job as a tutor. Im surprised that Im actually reluctant to leave, despite my constant complains of the boy. I felt that I had to record down my experiences, as they are really memories that I wouldnt want to forget.
Nicholas Mui Ming Jun (the name of my student) was really an interesting boy. I only taught him for 2 months. It may seem short, but I had the privilege of being exposed to both his angelic and demonic sides. The first month went like a breeze. Nicholas was a wonderful student, doing his work consistently and neatly.
The truth was finally revealed as we enter the second month. The first time Nicholas stubbornly refused to do any assessment enabled me to realise that he was like a devil in disguise. Initially, I was pretty angry and frustrated at his lousy attitude towards his studies. I was even more annoyed at the fact that Im giving up 3 hours of my time to teach a kid who has no intention of learning. That session was practically like hell time for me. Similarly, the next tuition session that followed aftermath wasnt a pleasure as well. However as I got used to his behaviour, I began to realise something different. I discovered something in Nicholas that is missing in me. It is not that Nicholas didnt want to learn, its just that he chose to find out more about stuff that is not taught in schools. For instance, Nicholas would always skip his recess to make a trip to the library to borrow books about the moon and mostly, dinosaurs. Instead of going through his assessments with him during tuition, he would request that I explain the content in the books he borrowed. Very often, I complied with his requests simply because he would finally settle down, and not oscillate around the room on his rotating chair. Nonetheless, I began to like explaining the scientific concepts of how did man come about, how did the dinosaurs become extinct, how did the astronauts manage to land on the moon, how the occurrences of lunar and solar eclipse became possible and lots of other fascinating facts. All these explanations had rekindled my interest in science. It had also brought back fond memories of when I was also a lazy and inquisitive girl, just like Nicholas. It then hit me that we shouldnt force children of such young age to pick up knowledge he is unhappy with. Giving him the opportunity to learn more of things not taught in curriculum can also be a form of beneficial tuition.
Thus for the next few tuition sessions, I didnt touch those assessments as frequently as I did previously. From then on, tuition no longer seemed like a mundane exercise to me. Instead, it became very fun. Whenever Nicholas had lost his concentration, I would suggest doing things that he liked. For example, we would play with his pokemon erasers and yugioh cards. We would also talked more about his family and his trips to Wild Wild Wet. I know that tuition isnt supposed to be like that, but I just couldnt bear to confine him into additional stress due to a restricted study programme. Of course, this would eventually mean that Nicholas will only get more arrogant with his ways. Whenever his parents are not in, he would make a bad excuse to leave the room and not return. That is when I have to go out and drag him back (and I meant really drag!). I even had to ask his sister to stand at the door so that he couldnt make his escape. His sister had commented, He treated you like a friend. Thats why he is so naughty. When I heard that, I felt very proud and glad that I had allowed Nicholas to learn at his own comfortable pace and at the same time, enjoy what he is learning.
I felt really sad that I couldnt continue to be his tutor, due to the heavy strain Im facing from my studies. Nevertheless, I have a prediction that Nicholas will definitely grow up to be a bright boy in the future. I may not be there to witness it, but I believe in it.
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
10:28 pm

Overwhelming thoughts....
Friday, April 29, 2005
Today in class, Mr. Nathan had a discussion about our belief in the primary existence in God. A small number of my classmates rejected the idea of God over fear of conflicting religious ideology and even for the most fundamental reason: there is no purpose. Im not a Christian, yet I believe there is a God. My only difference is that: I have stronger faith in Buddha. I believe that praying to Buddha doesnt necessarily solve every single predicament that Im in. Nonetheless, praying to him is just my way of soothing my emotions and agitation. Relaxation of the mind can sometimes be only achieved through mediation and constant prayers. Being a work-orientated person, I am aware that I give myself unnecessary stress. Even so, I welcome stress (though not always). Stress just imparts me with the motivation to work harder.

Sometimes, there is just too much pressure and strain on me that I need to discharge. At times, I just need an outlet to vent my frustration and in the process, I hurt the feelings of others around me. However, I learnt from my father that anger may not necessarily be let on the loose; instead it can be demolished through tranquility. Whenever my father sends me to school, I will never fail to listen to the Buddhist songs playing in the car. Initially, I would take out my Discman and enjoy the pop music that I love. However, as JC life progresses and my life become more nerve-racking and taxing, I realize the importance of such prayer songs. From then on, my Discman remains embedded in my bag every morning.

I admit I wasnt the happiest person in class early this year, but I have changed. Not much, but definitely towards a more positive perspective. Im learning to accept friendships that I previously abandoned. Im learning to just let go of the past and instead pay more attention to the process of the future.

The end of April has marked the start of summer and an introduction to blazing weather and scorching sun. However, in my opinion, it has marked the opening of a new attitude and the closure towards the gate of bitterness and animosity.
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
1:48 am

Yes!! I got a one!!!!
Friday, April 15, 2005
Yo! I havent blog in quite a while... Thought I would just type a short blog now. Yeah!!! I'm so happy! The school had announced the PW results earlier this morning. I had gotten a 1. At least my efforts have paid off.
I know some of my friends are disappointed with their grades, but dont be discouraged. This is not the end of our journey yet. The real test will begin in November this year. So lets work hard together!!! I still believe that in the end, we'll reap what we sow. Hard work will pay off when we receive our result slip next year. So dont be sad already, ok?

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
--Mary HAD a little lamb--
5:40 pm

Me!

Cindy (Short: Cinz)
*Leo*

loves!

*Loves manga and anime*
*Fan of Desperate Housewives, CSI and Grey's Anatomy *
*Enthusiast of documentaries of animals and plants*

taggit!




peeps!


DaGe
ErGe
Chee Yong
Cherie
Jiamin
Michelle
Miko
Miow Yin
Nisha
Li Che
Li Heng
Lynette
Tsin Li
Wan Wei
Wei Ren
Yilin
Ziqin
Zitian
what i had!


|February 2005|
|March 2005|
|April 2005|
|May 2005|
|June 2005|
|July 2005|
|August 2005|
|September 2005|
|October 2005|
|November 2005|
|December 2005|
|January 2006|
|February 2006|
|March 2006|
|April 2006|
|May 2006|
|June 2006|
|July 2006|
|August 2006|
|September 2006|
|October 2006|
|November 2006|
|December 2006|
|January 2007|
|February 2007|
|March 2007|
|April 2007|
|May 2007|
|June 2007|
|July 2007|
|August 2007|
|October 2007|
|November 2007|
|December 2007|
|January 2008|
|February 2008|
|March 2008|
|May 2008|
|June 2008|
|July 2008|
|August 2008|
|September 2008|
|October 2008|
|November 2008|
|December 2008|
|January 2009|
|February 2009|
|March 2009|
|May 2009|
|June 2009|
|July 2009|
|August 2009|
|September 2009|
|December 2009|


thank yous!


|slayerette|
|adobe photoshop|
|nocturnal-devil|
|imageshack|
|blogger|